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          歡迎訪問作文范文網

          高考滿分佳作評析:不會模糊的三原色

          作者:作文大全來源:作文范文網 時間:2019-06-09 閱讀: 字體: 在線投稿

          底色:平淡的灰白色

          我把切成一片片的榨菜倒進鍋中,隨著“嚓嚓嚓”的炒菜聲,菜香味就彌漫在狹小的房間內。灰白色的煙霧折射出我真實的年齡——6歲。

          我們一家三口來自農村。在城里租了兩間小屋住下后,媽媽進了制衣廠,爸爸成了“棒棒軍”中的一員,專門在碼頭幫人挑東西。媽媽的工作服是灰白色的,爸爸成天穿的衣服也是灰白色的,我所借讀的小學校服也是灰白色的。

          爸媽回家后,趁著吃晚飯的機會,我把灰白色的考試卷塞到了爸爸眼底下,讓他簽字。爸爸灰白色的臉洋溢出笑意:“也不錯,讀了兩個月書,考了個71分,不錯!”他的這句話沒有激起媽媽的反應,倒是讓我覺得我的臉也變成了灰白色,我恨自己的無能。

          媽媽說:“兒子,只要你品行好,就可以了!分數算不了什么。”

          襯色:耀眼的天藍色

          從6歲起就能干家務活的我,伴隨著長江號子聲,轉眼就邁進了13歲的門檻,我平平淡淡地讀到了八年級。這時老爸成了交通協管員,衣服變成了天藍色;老媽也成了車間主管,她的衣服由普通廠服變成了管理層所應有的天藍色衣服。恰巧,我的校服也是天藍色的。

          吃完早餐,我背起書包去學校之前,向老爸伸出手:“區里組織初中生參加全市素描比賽,我入圍了。請老爸贊助20元交通費!”老爸從天藍色的制服中掏出一張百元大鈔,很爽快地說:“拿去,其他的算小費,不用找了!”(老爸爽快地掏出百元大鈔,還幽默地說剩下的錢算小費,這里的動作、語言描寫反映出老爸看到兒子取得進步以后興奮、愉悅的心情,也反映出現在“我”家的境況正一天天變好。【動作、語言描寫】)這話可惹笑了老媽,她抻了抻自己天藍色的衣服說:“你這小孩子雖然學習成績一般般,但能畫一幅好畫,寫一手好字,也不錯!”

          兩個月后,我領回了全市初中生素描比賽一等獎的證書,我對老爸老媽說:“市教育局出錢讓我們獲得一等獎的學生,利用暑假去海南三亞寫生一個月!”

          老爸老媽有些驚奇,他們回過神后只淡淡地說:(“淡淡”一詞與下文中得知兒子被保送到中央美院后“驚呆了”相照應,前后對比,頓生波瀾。【用詞準確】)“這也好,你可以看到天藍色的大海了!比我們有出息,能看到耀眼的天藍色!”

          正色:炫目的粉紅色

          時間一晃,又過去了5個年頭。我們在城里落了戶,爸爸成功競選為居委會副主任,成天穿著粉紅色的制服忙里忙外的,那粉紅色顯得炫目。媽媽也穿上了炫目的粉紅色衣服,她現在是制衣廠的代理廠長了。而我……

          郵遞員送來了我的面試通知書,粉紅色的封面上“中央美術學院”幾個字令人炫目。連老爸老媽也驚呆了:“兒子呀,想不到你真的被成功保送了!”

          名師點評

          (1)角度新穎:以“灰白色”“天藍色”“粉紅色”三個生活的襯色作為小標題來描述家庭發展過程中的三個不同階段,用色彩的逐漸鮮艷來記敘生活逐漸有“起色”的過程。從“灰白色”到“天藍色”再到“粉紅色”,逐層遞進,不斷加深。

          全文角度新穎,富有現實意義,體現了改革開放后人們生活的巨大變化。

          (2)構思巧妙:在生活的襯色方面,衣服的顏色與家庭的境遇相關聯。在家庭起步階段,一家三口的衣服都是灰白色的;在家庭發展階段,衣服都是天藍色的;在取得成功階段,爸媽的衣服、兒子的錄取通知書都是粉紅色的。家庭環境的改善通過色彩的變化一步步表現,構思巧妙,令人耳目一新。


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